Dealing with someone who is verbally abusive can put you on the defensive immediately, which is completely normal, but there are seven ways to deal with verbal abuse and violence from healthier, kinder, and more aware people. Like a rabid animal, people who verbally abuse you often approach you aggressively for little or no reason. Essentially, these people are adult bullies, and there is no reason to tolerate this behavior from anyone.
Verbal abuse often turns into physical violence and leads to frightening situations. Researchers studying patterns of domestic violence between couples have found that verbal abuse is likely a precursor to physical violence.
If you are worried about someone who has insulted you, take action now. These situations can lead to domestic violence or workplace violence.
How to Deal with Harassment and Verbal Abuse
1. Don't Fight Back
Responding to anger, that is, to what people are expressing, with verbal abuse is useless with an angry voice. It won't get you anywhere. He was angry and now you're angry too.
2. Don't Take It On Yourself
Verbally abusive people often use nasty words. Instead of being offended by these hurtful words, understand that words can't hurt you. You can choose how you want to respond. Accepting their angry words will only make you feel worse, but it won't make them feel better.
3. Respond with compassion and consideration.
In studies of mental health caregivers who used non-physical methods to reduce the intensity of patients' verbal abuse, caregivers who were successful in de-escalating the situation took these steps to help the patient rest. Condition.
- They determined the level of violence of an abusive patient using a scale of 1 to 10.
- They tried to understand the meaning of this abusive behavior.
- They communicated with the abusive person
- You will find a solution that meets your needs.
You can use the same strategies to try to reduce the violence.
- Check the level of violence. Depending on their behavior, ask yourself if they are just a little upset or if the abusive person is likely to hurt themselves or others.
- If you think someone might be hurt, do not hesitate to ask for help.
- Listen to everything the angry person says and repeat it differently to make sure you understand it.
- Use phrases such as "I understand why you are upset" or "I understand how angry you were."
- Ask the abusive person to suggest ways to solve the problem or to propose their own solution.
4. Give them a safe space to express their feelings.
You may know that games are a characteristic of passive-aggressive people. Avoid playing games by identifying the source of the violence, which is anger. If you have done nothing wrong, do not let the angry person force you to apologize.
What the verbally abusive person needs is a place to express their anger and frustration, a place where someone will listen, empathize with them, and try to find a win-win solution. Let the upset person know that you are willing to listen, but only if it calms them down so that you can speak in a normal voice.
5. Give Them Time to Be Alone
Violent people usually break down quickly, and then too many emotional factors make them very angry and disappointed. For example, in traffic and crowded places, there are many sights and sounds and many decisions to make. A lot is going on and the overload of sensory information makes it difficult for a person to process this information and causes discomfort and frustration.
When a person becomes violent out of frustration and frustration, the focus of their anger can create a dangerous situation. This type of violent pattern is relatively common in our stressful daily lives. One of the best ways to reduce the intensity of a person's anger is to eliminate some of the triggers that cause the noise.
Let him benefit from a quieter environment for a few moments so that he can reduce his anxiety level. Maybe expressing violence to you is just a panic attack that puts him in fight or flight mode.
6. Respond with a joke
No one likes to be put down, but if you can quickly tell a lighthearted joke, even if it ends up making you laugh, it can help. The ability to be wary is the best way to respond to someone’s verbal abuse. A comment like, “I understand, I get a little grumpy before lunch too,” or something that isn’t boring, can probably make them smile.
7. Suggest resources for support
Ask the verbally abusive person how you can best help them if they get angry again. Provide any resources you have that you think might be helpful. Counseling resources are more available now than ever.
Counseling apps, text lines, websites, phone calls, and video calls are now available. While therapy can help, there is no reason to live with emotional pain.
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